Saturday, 3 May 2014

Sea and Selling

Another wonderful prompt from Write on Edge.  I've been looking forward to this as I have missed Steve Adderson.  You can see more of his story here.  I've taken my inspiration from the picture, credited to Unsplash.  





Steve gazed over the cliffs and drank in the view. 
"Be careful here, the path is steep." The young elfen taking Steve to the meeting had introduced herself as Tegan.  She looked small and fragile with big dark eyes and a shy smile.  Steve knew better than to trust appearances with the faerie, though, and he was being very respectful.
"It's a beautiful place." Steve said politely.
"The storms are magnificent with the waves hurling themselves at the land.  The kelpies ride and chase the unwary sailors and the walkers on the beach." Tegan looked sideways at Steve.  "In these times of course we only chase.  We are well behaved."
 Steve nodded noncommittally and followed what the track down among the pinks and the tufts of grass.  "The storms must be dramatic.  It's hard to imagine on a still day like today."
"Have you heard from your fair lady who was lost?" Tegan enquired politely.
"Who?" Steve racked his brains to think who that could be.
"Elaine.  Have you heard from Elaine?"
"No, I haven't heard from my ex-girlfriend." Steve clenched his fists.  The elfen loved their games and gossip.  "I think it is inappropriate to discuss her in this beautiful place.  I have come here with commerce and business and trade and it would be wrong to sully the thought's of my lost one with such matter." Steve hoped that would get Tegan to shut the hell up.
Tegan's soft eyes filled with tears.  Steve did not believe them.  Tegan wiped away a tear with delicate artistry.  "It is sad but good for my lord that you drown your sorrows not in sweet wine but in the hard salt work of merchants."  She paused.  "You haven't brought anything salt, have you?  We get all our salt from the kelpies."
"I wouldn't like to slight the kelpies.  I don't want a repeat of Chichester." Steve paused and took a lungful of sea air.  He didn't want to upset murderous sea creatures with long memories.
"What happened in Chichester?"
"I didn't realise that I was underselling some werewolves." Steve shuddered.  "A house blew up and I made a loss."  He tried to look suitably stricken.  It was helpful for the faerie to just think of him as someone who sold useful things and not someone to play with. 
"And you have brought us brass nails, rose petals and strawberry jam."
"I have bought best quality brass nails, exclusive strawberry jam and sun dried rose petals from the gardens in Hertfordshire." Steve smiled.  "They are all in the van."
"All in return for some stone bones." Tegan shrugged.  "I have heard that normals like these things but we like rose petals more."
"It is a very fair deal." Steve said carefully.  "I shall not cheat you." And 30% of an ichthyosaur fossil would easily cover his expenses.  He would concentrate on getting a good price for that.  He would not think of Elaine. 

14 comments:

  1. Nice. :-)

    One typo I caught: "I was really helpful" is, I think, meant to be "It was really helpful".

    A little concrit: 'I made a loss' should probably be 'I took a loss', and I would stop after 'stricken' in the next sentence as repeating the word 'loss' seems awkward. I would also avoid using the word 'really' in that sentence I noted above: it's superfluous.

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    1. I love con crit and I agree, sorry for the typo, I've lost the 'really' and ended the sentence after 'stricken'. I'm going to quibble about 'made a loss' as it is UK usage, and it is set in the UK so I'm hanging on to that. Thank you so much for your helpful con crit, it is really appreciated. LM x

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  2. I adore your elfen and their approach to life, reality and gossip - also the hints of Steve's other adventures so beautifully introduced. Great to see another installment of his story, I'm looking forward to more of them.

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  3. The conversation appears one way, with the undercurrents almost as dangerous as the ocean below. Well done!

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    1. It's always dangerous dealing with the fair folk. Thank you for commenting. LM x

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  4. oh the back and forth, I do love a good negotiation with a little secret thrown in for good measure.

    I enjoyed their discourse and the story itself, it held my interest from the first sentence.

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    1. Thank you for commenting, I'm really glad you liked it. It was far too much fun writing it. LM x

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  5. Loved the dialog in this. Despite his speaking with an Elf, it felt completely normal and natural. I like how the age-old question comes when trading with radically different cultures: "why do they find this old junk interesting?" Here it comes up again. It brings a sense of familiarity for me. This is smoothly written and very enjoyable.

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    1. I'm really glad you like it. I wish I could negotiate in real life. Thank you for commenting. LM x

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  6. The conversation between the elfen and Steve was excellent. You gave me, as a reader, so much information, while making me curious at the same time. Their conversation in itself sounded like a negotiation, which I enjoyed. I see this is a series. I will have to return and see what happened between Steve and Elaine!

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    1. I'm really glad you like it. I'm a couple of thousand words in to putting the ongoing prompts into novel form. Thank you for commenting LM x

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  7. Enjoyed this and recalled the previous installments as I was reading this one. I love the ending. I think he's going to get more than just business as usual with this one.

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    1. Thank you for commenting, and I'm really flattered that you remember the previous installments. I'm glad you like this, and yes, I think there could be trouble. LM x

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  8. The backshadowing, if you will, of Steve's checkered history is nicely done!

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