Tuesday 28 January 2014

Breathing In

This is a response to the Trifecta Challenge of 27 January 2014.  The challenge is to write 33 words on the subject of this picture.

Thomas Leuthard / Foter.com / CC BY

The easy, expansive space of the coffee shop after the dark confines of the parlour.  The bright, wide, window after the heavy, tasselled drapes.  The delicious chance for the mind to freely breathe.

This is definitely the hardest challenge I have tried so far.   

Monday 20 January 2014

The Craft Kit

This is a prompt from the Trifecta Challenge, to write between 33 and 333 words on the third definition of the word 'Quaint'.  

The Craft Kit

Finally, the new kit's here
I've waited for the post all day.         
The door is shut, the table's clear
The furniture is pushed away!

Okay, I put the screw in here
And tighten up the bracket there
And slot the tab into the rear
And push it in, hard as I dare.

I sand it here, and rub it there,
I add the paint and wax and buff,
The fumes are stuffing up the air,
I wonder if I've buffed enough.

The picture's blurred, is this quite right?
I'm sure I got the stencil straight.
Is this quite the shade of white?
And will it really hold the weight?

Oh no!  No visitors today!
I shove the thing across the floor,
Push a chair to bar the way,
And rush towards the knocking door.

The mother of my husband's here.
She doesn't like the kitchen blind
She doesn't like the new veneer
She doesn't like the box I've lined.

She checks how full my cupboards are,
And is my laundry all inside,
She lifts the cushions, now ajar,
And spots the kit I've tried to hide.

She picks it up and turns it round
And touches the still-drying lace
An opportunity she's found
To put me firmly in my place.

She sneers with praise that's damning faint
"A painted footstool, oh how quaint!" 

Monday 13 January 2014

Online Test

I am quite sceptical about online tests.  When I suspected that son was colour blind I first tested him on the computer, but then I went to the opticians and had a proper test done by someone qualified.  It's around thirty years since I bothered with those 'Are You Compatible' type tests where  you score yourself on how many a's, b's or c's you got.  Today, however, I glanced at a test shown in the Daily Mail here about a test for Alzheimer's.

It is supposed to be a test to see if any symptoms are progressing.  You have five questions and they seem fairly straightforward.  I was okay with most of them though I did initially think that the picture of a pretzel was a reef knot, but one has baffled me.

'How are a hammer and a corkscrew similar?  Write down how they are alike.'

I am baffled.  A hammer bangs nails into wood.  A corkscrew pulls corks out of bottles.  It's like one of those essay questions I was hit with at A level, writing five thousand words about a fourteen line sonnet.  It's a challenge.

Okay, a hammer bangs nails into wood and a corkscrew doesn't.  Hmm.  But a claw hammer can pull nails out of wood if they haven't been knocked in too far.  Perhaps that is a clue - if you don't have a lump hammer or a toffee hammer or a mallet but instead are holding a claw hammer then perhaps you can pull things out with both a hammer and a corkscrew.  Of course, if you hit the bottle with a hammer then you would be able to get the wine out.  It may just sort of splash everywhere, but the wine would be out of the bottle.  So both could be used to get wine out of a bottle and I think there is something where you push the cork into a bottle and get the wine out that way and a hammer may be useful there.

Going back thirty years to my student days, let's take it a bit further.  A hammer and a corkscrew are both tools, but then so is a screwdriver.  I would have thought a corkscrew and a screwdriver would have more in common, but then I am not expert in testing for Alzheimer's.  They are both made of metal, unless you count some of the rubber hammers and mallets out there.  That's something they have in common.  One is found in a tool box and one is found in the cutlery drawer, at least in my house.  I am not a wine drinker and the stuff I do drink usually has a screw cap.

I think I will go with both a hammer and a corkscrew are useful to a person who is building a bookcase and then wants to relax with a glass of wine.  And I'm hoping this is not the start of the slippery slope.

All images from Stockfreeimages.com