Wednesday, 5 February 2014

The Bells of St Brigit

This is a surprise prompt from Write on Edge, a challenge for a piece no more than 108 words and starting with the phrase, 'The bells of St Brigit are calling tonight.'

The bells of St. Brigit's are calling tonight,
The moonlight is sparkling over the sea,
The stars are shedding their magical light,
And my lover's dead soul is calling to me.

The roses are breathing their passion filled scent,
The soft waves are hissing onto the sand,
The bells chimes are ringing an empty lament,
My lover's drowned hand slips cold into mine.

Down the stone staircase and out to the sand,
Across the storm wreckage to the now quiet sea,
My lover steps slowly away from the land,
A final farewell as he's lost to me.    

I wasn't intending to try this, it seemed a bit hard for me, but it has been a good distraction at a tough time.  I can't remember for the life of me how to punctuate poetry, so I've just done my best.
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17 comments:

  1. Morgan6 February 2014 at 00:21

    So sad. The imagery of him slipping beneath the icy water is chilling. Well done.

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    1. Lyssa Medana6 February 2014 at 08:03

      I am glad you like it. The sea can be very cruel. Thank you for commenting LM x

      Delete
  2. angela6 February 2014 at 01:57

    The line about the waves hissing onto the sand is so telling. Normally water is a calming influence, but that descriptor told of the sadness to come.

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    1. Lyssa Medana6 February 2014 at 08:06

      Thank you for commenting. I am glad you liked the image, the sea can be a metaphor for so many things. LM x

      Delete
  3. Terry6 February 2014 at 02:58

    What a beautiful poem. You chose perfect words for the mood and the mind pictures. I thought the puctuation worked...but I am not an expert. I hope whatever you are going through gets better quick!

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    1. Lyssa Medana6 February 2014 at 08:07

      I'm really glad you like it - and glad that the punctuation looks okay. As for trouble, I take the view that at least I will have material for writing. Thank you for commenting. LM x

      Delete
  4. Asproulla7 February 2014 at 05:41

    Well done, very vivid imagery of loss... Cold and empty and full of farewell... Thanks for stopping by mine (Asproulla) and the kind comment :)

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    1. Lyssa Medana7 February 2014 at 10:53

      I'm glad you liked it. I just loved your imagery and the whole feel of your poem. Thank you for commenting. LM x

      Delete
  5. Angie8 February 2014 at 21:17

    Lovely (and disturbing) images. The roses breathing, the waves hissing on sand, and a cold dead hand. Well done.

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    1. Lyssa Medana9 February 2014 at 09:02

      I'm really glad you liked it. Thank you for commenting. LM x

      Delete
  6. Unknown8 February 2014 at 23:02

    This is beautiful. Such lovely imagery with each word filled with meaning. Well done! ♥

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    1. Lyssa Medana9 February 2014 at 09:08

      I'm glad you liked it. I was worried about doing such a lovely prompt justice. Thank you for commenting. LM x

      Delete
  7. Unknown9 February 2014 at 00:42

    So haunting and so powerfully conveyed - I loved this.

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    1. Lyssa Medana9 February 2014 at 09:08

      If you think that it is haunting, that is praise indeed! Thank you for commenting. LM x

      Delete
  8. Cameron9 February 2014 at 01:56

    Way to rise to the challenge with the even tougher challenge of structured poetry! Haunting images, Lyssa.

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    1. Lyssa Medana9 February 2014 at 09:11

      I'm really glad you like it. I don't know, something about the prompt called to me in verse. Thank you for commenting.

      Delete
  9. Anonymous12 February 2014 at 00:00

    So sad and beautifully written.

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