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"Did you see her, the one with the dress?"
Angie asked as she splashed the dirty cups through the water at speed.
"Her with the dress and the handbag?" asked
Betty. She switched to a dry cloth for
the next batch of cups. They had been
washing up together after the meetings for thirty four years this June and they
had perfected the routine.
"No, the one with the dress and the handbag is
Zoe. She reckons that the handbag is
designer and cost a fortune. But you can't tell me that handbag is
designer, I saw one just like it on the market." Angie sniffed.
"Well she
said that he was doing alright and had got a bonus at Christmas. I told her that everyone gets a bonus at
Christmas but she wouldn't have it." Betty rattled the teacups into a
stack and slotted them neatly into a cupboard.
"My Den said that he was doing well, but they aren't
spending that much. You should see the
state of her sofa. I'd be ashamed."
"You do like your furniture nice." Betty
nodded. "Of course, he could be
spending some money on her at the corner, you know, just past Mrs
Henderson. She always has nice
things."
"Her at the corner, she's the one with the
dress. She said that it was a charity shop find, but you can't fool me. That dress cost a fortune, and her with her
car in the garage."
"She spends her money on something. There must be some money going into that
house with them both working and I know they ask the lad to tip up now he's
started at the call centre, but they still have that old car."
Angie nodded.
"My Jim said that it was a scandal that car, they've had it for
four years now. But I saw her in the
supermarket and she had a bottle of wine in her basket."
Betty nodded knowingly as she switched drying cloths
again. "Mind you, I heard that her
aunt was the same, you know, the one who married the plumber and moved to
Brighton."
"Is it her aunt that married the plumber? Well that explains it." There was a pause as Angie changed the
washing up water.
"I see Mary's got new curtains." Betty rattled
some more cups into the cupboard. "I would have thought she would have
done something with her kitchen first. I
don't know how she cooks."
"Mary told me that she got them second hand. You can't tell me that they are second hand,
not with those seams. And as for
cooking, she buys frozen veg. I pity her
husband."
"Of course he makes up for it with the darts
team. They were out again last
night. Ted from two doors down came in
at midnight."
"By the way, what was the talk today?" Angie
rinsed out the washing up bowl.
"The dangers of gossip." Betty gathered her
cloths for the wash. "See you next
week."
I have never, ever known a function where the washing up wasn't a chance for a full exchange of views. I did 'hear' it in the local accent, but I am confident that the sentiments expressed are universal.
Good God, those women are terrifying. I imagine they looked at Edward Snowden and thought 'amateur'. Beautifully written as always, and with a nice sardonic twist at the end which I adored.
ReplyDeleteThis is an excellent lesson for those who consider the help as robots. Loved the read.
ReplyDeleteGossip in all its glory. A fun read!
ReplyDeleteThat was magic. Well done.
ReplyDeleteLyssa, this is brilliant! Seamless from start to finish and with the perfect ending too:)
ReplyDeleteLol, loved it, thank you.
ReplyDeletewoaa they seem to notice everything and their gossip is quite terrifying. But I enjoyed reading all the gossip :D Brilliant ending.
ReplyDeleteThe voices of these two are great, Lyssa. Nicely rendered allegory : )
ReplyDelete